My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Race

Well it's been two weeks since the Gulf Coast Triathlon so I figure it's about time to post a race report. I know many of you have already heard the story, but I figure I'll post it anyway for everyone else even though it still bothers me to think about the race. As I mentioned previously, this was my worst race EVER! The fact that I've been training really hard and spent a considerable amount of money both on coaching and on travel for the race, not to mention a new bike just increases the level of disappointment. This post is pretty long, since I copied most of it from the report I sent to my coach. I didn't really feel like starting from scratch or editing much.

Just in case you forgot, Gulf Coast is a half-iron distance race. That's a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and a 13.1 mile run - 70.3 miles total. It's a credit to my training - Thanks Brandon! - that this distance doesn't really phase me anymore. I was nervous about the race - not because of the distance, but because this was the first time I was really going to push myself at this distance. I'm not going to include a critique of the event itself. Gulf Coast is one of the longest running races of this distance and they really know what they're doing. It's a great venue and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to race a half-iron.

I arrived in Panama City late Wednesday evening. I had decided to bring most of my food with me so that I could just sleep in and relax on Thursday as my coach had instructed. I went to packet pickup on Thursday and did some shopping at the expo. I cooked and stayed in Thursday night and went to bed early. Friday I had pre-race workouts that I followed exactly. The ride on the tribike went really well. I'd been feeling a bit nervous about riding it in the race because I was still a little wobbly on it when it came to eating and drinking, but I felt confident. I ate well all day on Friday - nothing new, all food I prepared myself, and I felt ready to race. I had been pretty bummed out leading up to the race because I was by myself. Due to an unexpected trip to New York the previous week, Brian couldn't come with me. Now I don't mind doing races on my own, but this was a trip we had planned on doing together so it sucked to be going on my own. By Friday, though, I was feeling good, focused, and ready to get it done. Unfortunately my body had other things in mind.

I didn't sleep that well Friday night, but that's not unusual for me the night before a race. I got up at 4 am and felt hungry, which I thought was a good thing since it's usually hard to eat that early. I started eating some cereal and felt a little queasy, also not unusual when I try to eat at 4am, so I drank some water, stretched a little, and tried to eat some more. I was still queasy so I fixed some oatmeal. I was also feeling pretty warm, but I'm due for my period so a hot flash isn't that unusual - at least according to my doctor. On an aside - everyone knows that I have a great attitude about aging, and that I rarely feel like I'm 38, and I don't consider 38 to be anywhere near old, but damn it! when I get a hot flash, I feel old, and it sucks! Back to the story. At that point, I had to use the bathroom and not in a good way, but I had eaten a lot of fruit and veggies the day before, and I'm very regular so I still didn't think much of it. Then I started eating the oatmeal and that was pretty much it - I started throwing up, and pooping (sorry - I don't really know a polite way to say that). Once everything was out of me, I felt better but I still couldn't eat. Oh well! I headed to the race, got set up and it was time to go. Now I'm sure quite a few of you are thinking that I can't believe she went to the race, but I have to say that as long as I wasn't trying to eat, I didn't feel bad, and I was able to drink without any problems. I was hoping that I had eaten enough the day before to get me through the swim, and that I could eat on the bike. I was able to eat a banana before the race started so at least I had a little something in me, and I drank a lot of water so I felt somewhat hydrated.

I decided to take it easy on the swim, since that's my weakest event right now anyway, and I didn't want to burn up all my energy. The water was really choppy on the swim - it was very overcast over the Gulf and I'm guessing there was a storm out there somewhere. Swimming out was hard, but swimming back in was even worse. I swear I was swimming in place at several points. When I got in and went to stand up both my calves charliehorsed and I screamed and collapsed - in the water. Two lifeguards had to come in and pick me up - one grabbed me under the armpits, the other picked me up under the knees. It was beyond humiliating and I pretty much had a meltdown right there on the beach after they stood me up - I was so frustrated. I started walking towards transition and gave serious thought to dropping out, my calves had stopped charliehorsing but were quite sore. I got into transition - sat down, ate another banana, drank a bottle mixed with Nuun (electrolyte tablets) - love that stuff! - and decided I just didn't feel that bad - except the calves. I figured if I could stand back up that was a good thing. I knew I wouldn't be able to push that hard or the calves would charliehorse again, but I at least wanted to get out on the bike and see how I felt. I figured I could always stop if things weren't going well.

I didn't ride well, but I rode the tribike well - so at least there's that. I was able to have some good spin - close to 90rpm, which is good for me on the tribike. It's amazing what you can do when you have no other option. I had to keep the resistance low on the bike so I wasn't putting a lot of pressure on my calves, which meant high spin in easy gears. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat my energy bars - I almost threw up when I tried - so I had to stick with bananas and Clif shots. Thankfully, they were giving out Mango which is one of two flavors of Clifshot I can tolerate. I actually stopped at the aid station around mile 20 - on and ate 2 bananas and chugged an entire bottle of gatorade. The bike course is an out and back. There was a 12 mile section where it was a fierce headwind, and I almost quit. Honestly, the main reason I didn't is that I probably would have had to wait quite a while for a ride back so I figured I'd keep going if I could. Any time I tried to push the pace a little into the wind my calves started twinging so I was going only about 13-14 mph. Being in aero in that wind made a huge difference. If I had been on my roadbike - I would have quit. It took me almost 4hrs to finish the bike, which is beyond frustrating.

Back in transition, I thought again about quitting but, again, I wanted to see how things felt. I had a hard time lifting my bike on to the rack, which considering how light it is, is not a good thing. I sat down again to put on my shoes - I didn't really care about transition times at this point, put on more sunscreen, grabbed the rest of my stuff and walked out of transition. I walked about 400 meters then started trotting - calling it a run would be too kind. I was sloooowwww. When I got to the first aid station - I stopped, had them fill up my water bottle, and dropped some Nuun in - I went through an entire tube of Nuun on the run, which is 1.5 gallons of fluid according to the tube. I grabbed a bunch of oranges, a banana, and two packs of Clif Shot bloks - think Gummy Bears made out of Clif Shots, in a cube shape. It was nice to actually chew something. Like the bike, I never felt bad on the run - until close to the end - but I just couldn't push the pace. The athletes I was passing - at my superfast 13 min mile pace - kept commenting on how strong I looked, which actually made me feel worse because all I kept thinking was "I'm not supposed to be back here. I should be done by now." I would never say that, of course, because those athletes have worked just as hard as I have, were giving it their best effort, and I would never belittle anyone's effort, but it just added to my frustration. I had some nice conversations, but it was not much fun. I must have looked bad around mile 10 - the heat and 8 hours of effort on nothing but bananas, Clif shots, and oranges was finally taking its toll. There was a Team-in-Training coach that had brought a big group of athletes from NY, who ran with me for a mile. He was nice and it was good to have company. The last 3 miles were tough. I knew at the very least, I could walk it in.

I finished, got more Gatorade, and just walked around a bit. The only post-race food left at that point was oranges and bananas - two things I don't want to eat for quite a while. I didn't really hang out - I wanted to get back to transition to my phone so I could let people know I was okay. I usually text Joey and Maggie after races, and I had told Brian I would call him. A couple of people suggested I go get an I.V. but I really just didn't feel bad enough to justify that. Joey told me to go get an I.V. after he yelled at me for racing at all, and then not dropping out after the swim. Of course he was right, but I never felt so bad that I couldn't go on, I just never felt good enough to go hard. I deserved a little chewing out, and he made me laugh, too. Actually it was really good to hear someone as experienced at racing as Joey tell me I should have quit. Rachel and Maggie both said very nice things on the phone that made me cry, but also made me feel better. It really sucked being there alone under those conditions, but having great friends always helps. I didn't get an I.V. - I just wanted to get my stuff and get back to the condo. I didn't have a whole lot of bland food in the condo, but I ate some plain pasta - blech!, and a big bowl of peas and carrots, and went to sleep for a while. When I woke up, I ate and drank some more and went back to bed.

I had a late checkout on Sunday so I just slept in and took it easy. I felt considerably better and was able to eat my normal breakfast of oatmeal and eggwhite omelet. I left the cheese out just in case. I hadn't cleaned up any of my stuff or packed so I spent the afternoon doing that. Before I left town, I went to Dirty Dick's Crabhouse and got some crabcakes. That was supposed to be my post-race meal and damn it! I wasn't leaving town without some crabcakes.

The general consensus is that I had eaten something that didn't agree with me because it passed so quickly; although I have had stomach flus that have also passed that quickly, but it didn't feel like a stomach flu or virus. In general, it was a miserable experience, but there are some positives that I can take away from it.

I think my coach said it best when he responded to my email about the race:

"You had a tough week last week, and often times it is not the training that puts us over the edge. It is everything else. So, when you couple that with the travel, being in a different place by yourself, riding a bike that feels great but might not be 100% great, and other travel related stuff you can sometimes get a less than desirable outcome.

Overall, it sounds like it could have been food poisoning or some type of virus, especially if it 'passed' in less than 12 hours. I probably would have stopped after the swim as well as you were probably very dehydrated after an early morning of vomiting and other less than pleasant things! Let me get back to you with a little bit more, but...

On one hand I'm glad that you pushed through. On the other, stopping probably would have been a little bit smarter. When you do the IM this year, remember this experience. In the span of 140.6 miles you will probably go through several peaks and valleys, and none will be as low as this one. We'll take these next couple of weeks very easy to recover and regroup a bit. "

Did I mention that I love my coach?

Dharma

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

Home!

I don't really have a reason for this post, but someone complained that they are tired of hearing the audio from the Monterey Bay Aquarium live webcam come on their computer every time they check my blog. Waaaaaaaaaa! They even threatened to stop reading my blog. Whatever. Now I will admit that the audio is a little annoying. I forget about it because I have my speakers on mute - perhaps this person should try the mute button. I happen to be rather fond of this particular person, and they did ask somewhat nicely so I figured I'd fulfill their request - after teasing them publicly, of course. It's no less than they would do to me. At any rate, I needed another post so that the webcam would move off the front page of the blog so here it is.

Brian and I are home safe and sound. The drive was quick and uneventful, although a bit unpleasant since we are both a little hungover. South Beach was awesome, but we are glad to be home. I'm looking forward to a relaxing week. It's going to be hot so I think afternoons at the pool are in order.

Mmmmm.....cuban food

It would be a crime - at least as far as I'm concerned - to go to Miami and not get Cuban food. Friday night we planned on meeting my mom, her boyfriend Charlie, and Charlie's daughter Jessica for dinner. I had suggested to Mom that we get Cuban food. She mentioned it to Charlie and Jessica who were in agreement. Jessica's stepfather is Cuban and he recommended a place to us, Havana Harry's. He said it was the best traditional Cuban food in Miami. Since the restaurant was in Coral Gables, Jessica picked us up so we could all go in one car. Yay for not having to drive! We had a lovely dinner complete with sangria. It was really good to see my mom!

Saturday was more Cuban food. Brian's conference finished up around noon. We ate lunch and headed out to the beach. Brian mentioned that his students, Casey and Mamta, has asked if we wanted to go out with them Saturday evening. Of course we do! They had done a great job on their presentations and Brian was very proud of them and everyone deserved a night on the town. After an afternoon of playing in the ocean, I was definitely ready for some food. We decided to head to the Lincoln Road district in South Beach. This is an outdoor mall that runs from the beach to the bay and is lined with restaurants, shops, bars, some theaters, and just filled with people. We had the cab drop us off at Yuca, a Cuban restaurant that specializes in Nuevo Latino cuisine. We hadn't decided where to eat but Casey and I had both read about Yuca so we figured it was as good a place as any to start. Neither Casey nor Mamta had eaten Cuban food yet, and we liked the menu and the look of the place so we decided to go for it. The food was incredible, the service was fantastic - and entertaining - and we had a great time. They had the best mojitos, too. I really like not having to drive.

After dinner, we decided to walk and around and check things out. Now this is South Beach so even though it was 11 p.m. everything was open and there were people everywhere. We had fun checking out the different stores and restaurants. Brian started making fun of all the little dogs we were seeing, and started going on about how it's only a matter of time before people have a closet full of little dogs that they can choose from to coordinate with their outfits. This progressed into different little dogs being in style, and people getting picked on for having last season's little dog. I was walking a little in front of Brian, Casey, and Mamta when I hear "That is so last season's dog" and tons of hysterical laughing. My husband is not right, but pretty funny. After we walked for awhile, we decided to find a club/bar. We hailed a cab and headed to Ocean Dr in the Art Deco District. We went to Mango's Tropical Cafe, which is a hotspot, but the place was just packed and there was a pretty sizable line. None of us wanted to stand in line for an opportunity to stand in the club like a bunch of sardines in a can. There wasn't even enough room to dance. We went a couple of places up the street and sat in an outdoor bar and hung out for a while longer drinking and talking. It was a fun evening!

The Pool

I feel I should warn you that this post is a bit of a rant. I was annoyed today and I just want to complain some. Anyone that knows me knows that I am an optimist. Anyone that knows me really well knows that I am also a bit of a cynic. I'm sure quite a few of you are scratching your heads and wondering how that possibly works. Let me explain. We'll use people's behavior as an example since that is what motivated this post. I firmly believe that people as a whole are capable of being polite, thoughtful, courteous, pleasant, etc if they just make a little effort to pay attention to their surroundings and take into consideration how their actions might effect the people around them. I also believe that intelligence is a choice to a certain extent - that people are as smart as they want to be. I'm not talking about Calculus - that's education, not intelligence. Now I believe that about people - optimist, but I don't expect it - cynic. The optimist is what enables me to be a good teacher, the cynic keeps me from bashing my head against a wall in frustration when confronted with the idiocy that seems to come from the average person on a daily basis. I know I'm not perfect and I know I have my moments, but by and large, I like to think I do pretty well.

So on to events at the pool today. I'm going to preface today's events with a bit about yesterday. The hotel Brian and I are staying in has a lovely pool - it's not quite 25 yards long but it's pretty close. It's a rectangle about the width of four lap lanes with a large half circle shallow area on one side. Considering it's not technically a lap pool, it's a good size and shape for swimming laps. Since there are no lap lanes, I knew that I would have to be cognizant of people in the water especially children. In these types of situations I don't expect people to curtail their fun just because I want to swim laps. I do expect that people would show me the same courtesy that I am showing to them by not swimming over them or swimming too fast. Things like not walking directly in my path and then standing there looking at me as I swim towards them. It's a big pool after all and there is plenty of space. Since my workouts are very easy and short right now, I really didn't foresee any issues.

Yesterday was just fine. I kept an eye on the pool and got in at a time when there were few people in the water. I moved to the middle of the pool and started swimming. The people that were in there with their kids moved along the long side of the pool so that they were playing next to me instead of in between me and the wall. How nice! I also noticed another funny thing about 5 minutes after I started swimming. Other people that had just been hanging out in the pool started doing exercise related activities - some breaststrokers, a couple of water aerobics people, an aqua jogger. It was almost like seeing someone else being active made it okay. It was kind of cool, and I had a really nice swim.

Today was a different story. I did the same thing as yesterday. In fact there was no one - not a soul - in the pool when I got in and started swimming my laps. I had done at least 10 laps before anyone got in the pool that I could see so my position was well established. All of the sudden there were a bunch of people in the water with their kids, and they had all taken up positions along the short wall so I had to start navigating around people to complete my lap. That's fine - there are no lanes, they had as much right to be there as I did. I was a little annoyed because there was no one playing along the length of the pool adjacent to where I was swimming like the parents had done yesterday or in the half circle area that was completely removed from where I was swimming. Everyone was clustered in the one area. It's not like they all knew each other either. I don't expect that people should jump out of the way for me but 1) I was there first and 2) it's a huge pool - spread out people! I was feeling some serious passive aggressiveness coming from the people at that end of the pool. I'm sure you can see where this is going. It was only a matter of time and the laws of probability before I ran into someone. I got to the wall, turned around, pushed off, took one stroke and smack! ran right into a man carrying a small child. I smacked her on the back of the head with my hand as I was trying to bring my arm down to the water for a stroke. I immediately stood up and apologized to the child who couldn't have been more than two and wasn't entirely sure if she should cry or not. Her grandfather gave me the dirtiest look and just turned away from me. At this point I was seriously pissed! How about apologizing to me, you jackass. What bothered me even more is that I had swum around this guy to get to the wall, and that he was facing me and looking right at me as I pushed off so the only way I run into him is if he moves in front of me. Whatever! I was almost done with my swim, but all the enjoyment I had gotten was gone. I felt really bad about hitting the child. At any rate, I was really annoyed probably because yesterday had been so nice so my expectations had been elevated. I really just don't get how people can be so clueless and rude. I don't expect people to jump out of my way just because I want to swim laps, but I also don't understand why a person wouldn't move to another part of the pool when they see someone continually going around them and their kids. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know why it's called common sense or common courtesy because very few people seem to have it.

Rant over! I feel much better now.

SoBe Fun

I figured I should do a quick post before heading out for my swim. Wednesday night Brian and I rolled into South Beach. Brian has a conference and I decided to tag along. Really it wasn't a hard decision considering that the hotel is right on the beach and it's the week after Gulf Coast so training is minimal. Really can you think of a better way to recover from a half-iron distance tri than hanging out at the beach?

Here are some fun things so far:

• running on the boardwalk with a view of the ocean
• having a post-swim margarita while lounging under a palapa. yes, I know - a margarita is NOT a standard post-workout beverage, but Julio the pool boy REALLY wanted to bring me something so what the heck?
  
• the view from our room
• taking a cab to dinner
• 2 for 1 drinks - Happy Hour never ends in South Beach
• People watching
  

Tonight we are having dinner with my Mom. Her boyfriend Charlie's daughter is graduating from Miami Law School so they are in town this weekend. What a nice coincidence!

Here are a few pics of the view from our room

I want my two dollars

My friend Maggie has a blog post today where she figured out that even with a full time job, 8 hours of sleep a night, the other day-to-day tasks that life requires, AND Ironman training that she should still have four hours left a day for fun. She was basically wondering where the heck her four hours have gone. The tone of the post immediately made me think of the paperboy in the John Cusack movie Better Off Dead. This movie is a classic from the '80's and is too funny! A subplot of the movie is the paperboy following John Cusack around hounding him for the two dollars he is owed. Everyone can thank Maggie for this little piece of entertainment you are viewing today. Enjoy! Maggie, I hope you find those four hours - they are out there somewhere.

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm recovering from what was the worst race I've ever had -more on that later - and I'm trying to get packed up to head home from Panama City Beach so this is short. I just wanted to take a moment to wish Happy Mom's Day to all the mothers out there particularly my own mom - who is also a grandmother, too. Here are some pictures of Mom having a quiet moment with her grandson Julian at the beach. They aren't too clear because they were taken with my cellphone. It was one of those moments where you wished you had a camera, and realized you did. Yes, I said the woman in those pictures is a grandmother - hard to believe isn't it? She looks fantastic! I hope all you Mommies have a great day - you earned it!

Panama City Beach

In case you haven't been paying attention to the Countdown Clock on your right, the Gulf Coast Triathlon is on Saturday, which means I am in Panama City Beach. I drove in late last night. I'm staying in a nice condo right on the beach about a half-mile or so from the race site. It's a great location and I have an awesome view.

Today was very low key. I slept in, although not as late as I would have liked. I spent the morning relaxing, had a nice conversation with my coach, and took a nap. This afternoon I was planning on going down to the beach to go for a short swim in my wetsuit. I have a rashguard to wear under my suit that hopefully will keep me from chafing and I want to see how everything feels. When I got down to the beach, the water was wavy and it was much windier than usual. It also wasn't that hot - not that that's a bad thing. I turned and looked behind the condo and noticed that the sky was quite cloudy and dark. Ooops - guess I should have checked the weather. It never rained, though. I decided to scrap the swim - the water was swimmable, but would have required effort, and today is a rest day. So instead I headed for the hot tub. After a nice soak, I got cleaned up and went to packet pick-up. I did some shopping at the expo and headed back to the condo to cook dinner.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good - I've been really tired the past two weeks and haven't been sleeping that great, but my training has been good. I'm really nervous about racing on my tribike - I'm over the wobbliness and I feel really comfortable in aero, even in the wind, but going fast on the tribike weirds me out for some reason. I don't know if it's a visual thing or the aero position or the smoothness of the bike, but I feel like I'm going so much faster than I actually am. When I try to go the speed I should be going, I get a little freaked out. I'm hoping that being focused on racing will take care of that. I just keep telling myself that the faster I go, the sooner I get to finish.

Tomorrow is race prep - I have an easy hour of workouts in the morning and then rest, rest, rest. Bike check-in is in the afternoon. I'm cooking and eating in. I did that for the Orlando 70.3 last year and it was really nice. Plus I'll have leftovers for after the race.

FYI - if anyone tries to reach me by phone and I don't answer - the condo is a cellphone void. I have wireless internet, but the phone is hit or miss.

It's about time for bed. Here are a few pics.

Tibetan Healing Mandala

The Tibetan mandala is a tool for gaining wisdom and compassion and generally is depicted as a tightly balanced, geometric composition wherein deities reside. The mandala's purpose is to help transform ordinary minds into enlightened ones.

Mandalas constructed from sand are unique to Tibetan Buddhism and are believed to effect purification and healing. Typically, a great teacher chooses the specific mandala to be created. Monks then begin construction of the sand mandala by consecrating the site with sacred chants and music. Next, they make a detailed drawing from memory. Over a number of days, they fill in the design with millions of grains of colored sand. At its completion, the mandala is consecrated. The monks then enact the impermanent nature of existence by sweeping up the colored grains and dispersing them in flowing water.

According to Buddhist scripture, sand mandalas transmit positive energies to the environment and to the people who view them. While constructing a mandala, Buddhist monks chant and meditate to invoke the divine energies of the deities residing within the mandala. The monks then ask for the deities' healing blessings. A mandala's healing power extends to the whole world even before it is swept up and dispersed into flowing water—a further expression of sharing the mandala's blessings with all.

-from the Sackler Art Gallery

Amitayus Mandala

Amitayus is the Buddha of Boundless Life

In January of 2002, in response to the September 11 tragedies, twenty Buddhist monks from the Drepung Loseling Monastery constructed a sand mandala (sacred painting) at the Sackler gallery in Washinton, D.C. This seven-foot-square mandala, one of the largest ever created in the West, was offered for the healing and protection of America. In addition, the monks participated in chanting, meditation, and other traditional healing ceremonies.

Monterey Bay Aquarium Underwater Kelp Forest Cam

This is the live cam that runs from 7 a.m. - 7 p.m pacific time. If you don't see anything go to the next screen, which displays activities recorded earlier in the day.

After hours playback